?I'm just tired of women being silenced in their infertility.
Women are silenced when they have unexplained infertility, but also when they're they have recurrent miscarriages. So when women are experiencing either unexplained infertility or recurrent miscarriages, our society silences them. We treat them like there's nothing they can do.
Like all that's available to them as time, keep trying, and over time you should get or stay pregnant, or we offer them prayers and Goodwill, like, I'll send you some good thoughts. Like that's enough support.
?Welcome to Her Fertility, the podcast revolutionizing the way women are supported on their fertility journey. I'm your host, Jess Tims. With years of supporting women as a fertility doula, I've seen the emotional pain caused by infertility, including my own struggle with unexplained infertility. And I always knew there had to be a better way to support women with their fertility health and healing.
This is the first podcast to combine the principles of spirituality and energy healing with the research-based fertility data to support you in a way you've never seen before. You can stop feeling alone, confused, frustrated, and overwhelmed, and start finding the answers you've been looking for. Because this podcast goes so much deeper than anything you can search for online. If you are ready to find a new, spiritual perspective for your fertility journey, then press play. We are here to reclaim control, find clarity, and transform the fertility conversation.
? Hello. We have not met I'm Jess. I'm probably the first certified fertility doula that you've heard of, and that might be confusing. So in this foundational episode, I'm going to pull back all the curtains. And share with you what a fertility doula is and how I got to this point and why this podcast is going to change your relationship with your fertility. So regardless of how you found this episode or how this episode found you, I'm so grateful that you are here. And I hope that you'll stick around until the end where I'll share some insider information about your fertility. We are going way back.
I married the love of my life and my journey actually started a year prior. When I called off a wedding with someone else. So I was engaged to Greg and I met him my senior year of college and we dated for six years. I was definitely ready to be engaged sooner. Um, but he waited six years to propose. And by that time I had a really fulfilling career at Disney. I was applying to graduate school programs to get my master's. And I was engaged and we decided to move in together and that's when everything hit the fan. I was finally forced to really face all the things that I had been sweeping under the rug for so long. And I quickly came to terms with the fact that I had very fundamental differences from him. I'm talking like very different beliefs in God, different perspectives on gun ownership, really just very different views on life in general, which in my heart I knew would end our marriage within a few years. And so I made the very difficult decision to call off our wedding. Yes.
I had to send don't save the dates after sending out, save the dates. It was so awkward. I had to move out. I had very hard conversations with my ex future. Mother-in-law his sisters, his very committed friends. It. It was terrible. There's no way around it. I felt terrible for not realizing all of this sooner.
I mean, I didn't have six years. Um, but honestly, all that time, all I wanted was validation. I really wanted just to be loved. And I wanted to be valued because at that point in my life, I didn't value myself enough to put myself first. I could really only find value from others. It was a defining characteristic for me.
I did things to make other people happy. It was how I was raised, honestly. Like everyone else's needs were always before mine. I remember going to Sunday school as a child and learning like you put everybody else before yourself, it was like Jesus and others in you. Just spell joy. And, I was so proud of myself for finally putting myself first for finally saying no. For finally saying like, no, I actually don't agree with that.
And I'm going to part ways with you because this is what's best for me. And so for the first time I valued myself enough to let go and to really feel, feel good and stand in. What made me happy.
And so fast forward a little bit after that terrible breakup. Josh and I eventually went on a date. And it was amazing. Um, but there was one problem. Josh had been previously married and the problem was they never had kids and I assumed that it was because he never wanted children. And if there's anything I knew for sure it was that I would be a mom someday. So after our date, I straight up asked him, and he said that she didn't want them. And I was shocked. I truly thought he had ever wanted kids. And so when I learned that he did it changed the game. We were engaged within months. We had the most beautiful wedding and we started trying for kids right away. One other piece of our puzzle is that Josh is 11 years older than me. And so it became pretty important that we start trying, um, sooner than later. And we couldn't get pregnant. I literally spent two years consuming fertility related information. I was obsessed. I tried everything I could, because I knew in my heart that I could get pregnant.
I just couldn't figure it out. I couldn't figure out what was holding me back from conceiving. I was healthy. I had regular periods. I had no reason to think it would be hard for me. I did get pregnant after two years and I had the most beautiful pregnancy. I had the most amazing birth. My son Maddox is quite literally the best thing that ever happened in my life.
The next part of my story involves some sensitive content related to sexual trauma. So I'm not going to detail it, but if you weren't triggered by that type of content, please skip ahead To eight minutes in the podcast.
when Maddox turned age two. Josh. And I both felt this calling to really dig deeper and we started working with an energy guide named Lisa. I started working with Lisa, and she told me about the sacral chakra. I learned that the sacral chakra is where our uterus is. It's where our personal power lives in the body. It's our relationship with money. It's our relationship with others is our relationship with ourselves and it is our power center. And as I dug deeper with her, I began to remember different experiences that had happened in my life.
Like I literally had blocked out things. For example, my parents were divorced when I was age four. And so at age four, there was a lot of misunderstanding of divorced. And I had a blocked a lot of things out. Fast forward to age 14, I was sexually molested. And I had blocked that out. And so this was the first time as an adult. That those memories had started to resurface and I will never forget this moment I was telling her about these experiences.
She's helping me process them. And I'm on a zoom call because we're in the lockdown. And she stopped and she looked at me and she said, Jessica, You were molested. And it was the first time that anybody had named what had happened to me. And literally the next thing out of my mouth was it was a miracle I ever got pregnant. You see I had finally learned that these types of experiences, sexual trauma, poor connection to myself after years of putting others first. Along with so much more had blocked the flow of energy in my sacral chakra. And so if any of this is sparking curiosity in you, if you're curious about learning about energy in the body, there are some amazing books out there. Um, It is founded in quantum physics. There's a book called anatomy of the spirit by Carolyn Myss it's really informative. All of the books by David Hamilton.
There's one. Titled Why Woo Works. There's a lot of research in there that I appreciate. Um,
at this point, all of my puzzle pieces finally fit together up until then. I honestly could not tell you how I got pregnant or what changed for me. People would ask me, well, how did you finally get pregnant?
And I couldn't honestly, in my heart tell them because I didn't know. But at this point, I finally could take a step back and see my whole self, not just my physical body, but I can see. My energy body. And my spiritual body and I could see how it took me so long to get pregnant. I could understand the energetic blocks, , along with not understanding ovulation and not understanding some of the physical body stuff. But there was a large energy body component as well. So it was in this amazing state where I was so clear yet. I remember the pain of having infertility. I remember waking up. And like literally in tears and just being so sad that I wasn't pregnant. I remember having these dreams. Uh, these like terrible dreams where I would wake up just sobbing because I wanted to be pregnant and I wasn't. And I remember how lonely I felt, how I felt like I was the only person not getting pregnant. Like everyone else around me was getting pregnant except for me.
And I felt so isolated and so alone, I felt angry.
And I remembered all of this.
I still do. I mean, this has been years and years ago and I still remember what that feels like. And I know there had to be a better way. There had to be a better way for women to. get information, right? Like we have so much information out there on the internet and we have great doctors.
I had an amazing doctor. But I didn't have support and I didn't have anybody I could trust in those in-between times. And I knew there had to be a better way to support women in their fertility. And this is how. I became a fertility doula, how Fertilityjess was born and how this podcast, her fertility was born. I'm just tired of women being silenced in their infertility.
Women are silenced when they have unexplained infertility, but also when they're they have recurrent miscarriages. So when women are experiencing either unexplained infertility or recurrent miscarriages, Our society silences them. We treat them like there's nothing they can do.
Like all that's available to them as time, keep trying, and over time you should get or stay pregnant, or we offer them prayers and Goodwill, like. I'll send you some good thoughts. Like that's enough support. It's bullshit. It's literally.
So crappy how we support women, like as a culture. And I'm sick of it and I'm changing the game. I think. Truly at the heart of this is because infertility. And recurrent miscarriage. Is so emotional. It is devastating. It is not what anybody plans on when they're trying to get pregnant. It's just, it's all of that.
And we, as a culture are not trained in how to hold space for those types of emotions.
Yeah, we have all the tools. And we can do a better job of supporting women. And that's why this podcast was born. So a little bit more about my background. I knew I wanted to support women. I didn't know how I wanted to do it.
I couldn't see the service being provided if I was an OB. So I thought about going back to medical school. And I was like, no, that's not right. Like, it's not exactly what I want to be doing. Um, so. After a lot of research. I found out that fertility doulas are a thing kind of like death doulas. Right.
We have the support people in death doulas that help. When someone dies with that grief. Same with a fertility doula. So I certified as a fertility doula. Um, Something you might not know about me is like, I love getting certified in things.
Um, so I did that. Um, I also trained and I am a Reiki master level.
I have a master's degree in communications. So today, I work as a certified fertility doula. I support you on your fertility journey, no matter what that looks like. I've helped women conceive naturally. I've helped women get to the root of their unexplained infertility, and I've supported women as they navigate their IVF journey. I've led a pregnancy loss support group in partnership with Resolve the National Infertility Association where I've supported women during a time that feels extremely confusing and dark. I work one-on-one with clients.
I also have a membership for future mamas who are looking to break up with that. Negative narrative. That's online in those online forums and instead be a part of a movement that's really changing the game for fertility support. Because at the end of the day, this journey becomes easier. When you don't have to do it alone. So, whether you're hiring a fertility doula to support you, you're joining a membership like future mama to hold space for you weekly as you navigate forward, or maybe you join a support group in your area. All of these are ways that make your fertility journey easier. And sadly, we have this perspective. And our culture, that support means you failed at doing something alone.
Getting support does not mean you failed. Really support is actually a strategy to get yourself from where you are, to where you want to be faster and easier. And with less stress. So, if you are ready to be supported on your fertility journey, subscribe to this podcast and share this episode. We never know when someone is struggling with infertility. And it just takes one friend sharing, something like this to help us feel supported in that moment. And that is why I'm so grateful that you tuned into this podcast. I am truly on a mission to support. Powerhouse women who are ready to rewrite their fertility journey on their own terms. So if you're an ambitious woman, who's tried it all yet.
You're still waiting for that positive result, this is your space. I so look forward to bringing you regular episodes. So that you can stop searching and reclaim control of your fertility journey. I remember feeling so out of control of my body. And I don't want that for you. There is so much information available online.
It's just never been pulled together in a way that addresses the whole self. So I promise to bring you the latest fertility research and then show you how. To apply it in a way. That keeps you energetically open, aligned with your soul. Because you are a dynamic being and it's time to stop looking at your fertility from only one perspective.
You are a whole dynamic being, and I am going to treat you in that way and support you from that place. So if you're ready to redefine your path and discover a new level of support, then you're in the right place. Because it's time for women like you to take your fertility in your own hands with no limits. And no apologies because your fertility is your vitality ?and you are worth the time and energy to figure this out. ? I am so grateful for you. I love you.
And until next time ciao.
Thank you so much for listening to this episode of the her fertility podcast in a sea of big name podcasts. Your support means the world to me. If you enjoyed the show, I would so appreciate your support by leaving a review on Spotify, Apple podcast, or YouTube, wherever you listen to help me reach as many women as possible.
You can also share this episode with a friend sharing the podcast is the best way to help it grow and build a community of support around you on your fertility journey. If we aren't already connected, please find me at fertility Jess on social media, or sign up for one of my next fertility courses or offerings at www.fertilityJess.com.
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