β π Welcome back to the Her Fertility podcast. If you've ever thought there has to be more support than this, then you're not alone. When I experienced infertility, and I came out the other end after years of my life going what felt like down the drain trying to get pregnant. I looked back on that experience and I thought there has to be a better way to support women through this.
And in today's episode, I am going to highlight the crucial role that fertility doulas play in the fertility journey. If you're new here, I'm Jess. I'm a certified fertility doula, and I support you on your fertility journey. And this episode is going to highlight what a fertility doula even is because if you are like me, then you might be thinking, what is a fertility doula?
I thought that doulas helped with birth and I thought the same thing until I looked more into it and I have been supporting couples for four years now as a fertility doula and I am here to pull back the curtain on all things fertility doula. So stay. So if you wanna learn more or so, if you wanna learn more or say you're interested in becoming a fertility doula yourself, and supporting Alet and supporting others, then this episode is for you.
β π Welcome to Her Fertility, the podcast revolutionizing the way women are supported on their fertility journey. I'm your host, Jess Tims, with years of supporting women as a fertility doula, I've seen the emotional pain caused by infertility, including my own struggle with unexplained infertility, and I always knew there had to be a better way to support women with their fertility, health, and healing.
This is the first podcast to combine the principles of spirituality and energy healing with the research-based fertility data to support you in a way you've never seen before. You can stop feeling alone, confused, frustrated, and overwhelmed, and start finding the answers you've been looking for. Because this podcast goes so much deeper than anything you can search for online if you are ready to find a new.
Spiritual perspective for your fertility journey, then press play. We are here to reclaim control, find clarity, and transform the fertility conversation.
βA fertility doula is a trained non-medical support professional who provides emotional, informational, and holistic support to people navigating fertility challenges. And that is a full spectrum. Fertility, doulas, and that is the F. So fertility challenges.
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β π And you might be thinking, but can a fertility doula help me get pregnant? And the answer is, yeah, a fertility doula is a trained support professional, and if they are trained through our program at Her Fertility support, then they are trained in cycle tracking cycle, sinking the fertility awareness method.
Our doulas have the latest research on fertility, nutrition, supplements, male fertility hormone function, and they also have a deep awareness and understanding around. The assisted reproductive technologies available like IUI and IVF, they know what family planning options are available to you. And so it's like having this fertility expert in your corner advocating for you and helping guide you along the way while also supporting you.β π
I like to say that fertility doulas walk beside you on your fertility journey. A fertility doula is somebody who is with you before, during, and between these fertility experiences and fertility doulas all work a little bit differently. We support a wide range of fertility experiences. Everything from trying to conceive to diagnosed infertility.
Fertility doulas can support you after experiencing pregnancy loss or miscarriage. We support you if you are using assisted reproductive technologies like IVF and the biggest role that a fertility doula plays is that support piece so that you are not navigating that uncertainty and that dreaded waiting period alone.
Instead, you have someone to hold you who has a bunch of knowledge, right, and training and education around fertility, but they're also there to hold that space for you as you navigate infertility. And in our next episode, I'm going to break down the key differences between a fertility doula and a fertility coach.
But for now, it's important to know that doulas are not outcome driven. We don't operate by a checklist, and we're also not heavy on advice giving. We instead are someone who is a soft place to land on your fertility journey, who truly listens and might offer a recommendation, but is not pushing you forward toward an outcome.
They're supporting you through the journey, and I think that's a really key distinction to make with fertility doulas because people often don't know where a fertility doula falls in. Like what is the role with fertility? You have your doctor who's supporting your body. You might have a therapist who is supporting you emotional load, and they're helping you maybe process through something that's already happened.
You might have an acupuncturist who's helping with your stress management. βAnd a fertility doula is somebody who weaves all of those experiences together and holds you as you are navigating those experiences. For example, if you are using IVF, then you know that you have an appointment with your doctor and you get a bunch of information at that appointment.
They're talking medications. You're gonna have to administer yourself the process of what IVF is, which is a multiple appointment process, multiple procedure process, right? Like you're getting so much information and then you have to go through that process of IVF. And there are oftentimes, days of waiting or days between procedures where you are still experiencing the range of emotions that infertility brings, the uncertainty, the anger, the, you know, fill in the blank for what the day brings you.
It is truly a roller rollercoaster of experiences and a fertility doula is somebody who is there with you in that moment. They're somebody who understands fully that emotional range. They do not judge you for that. They do not expect you to wake up and be happy, go lucky and pretend that everything's okay.
Instead, they're somebody who sees you for where you're at fully holds you in that space and offers you ways to navigate that.
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And fertility doulas give you a new perspective on your fertility journey, which can be like a breath of fresh air. And I'll share a story unrelated to fertility that is very similar to what I'm talking about. So we were selling our home in Oregon and we had. And we chose to use the realtors that we bought the home with through to sell it.
And I just thought, you know, you just need a realtor and you sell your house. Right? And so they listed the house. It's a, it was a beautiful house. We had done some amazing upgrades to it, and it was priced right and we had a lot of interest in the house, a lot of showings and no offers. And so after about a month, you know, I went back to the realtors and I was like, what can we do?
Like why, you know, why isn't it selling? And they were like, don't worry, it will sell. Every house sells. Just keep trying. And so we did. We tried for another month and we had lots of viewings and no offers. And at this point. We had a 3-year-old and it was really hard to keep the house in, like show ready condition, like spotless and clean with a 3-year-old all of the time.
And so we decided to move in with my in-laws for, you know, as much time as it would take to sell the house so that the house could stay sparkly clean and they could show it whenever they. So we made that big move. And mind you, our house was in Oregon and my in-laws live in Arizona, so we moved to Arizona with them and we finally got an offer, an all cash offer, and we were ecstatic.
And then that offer fell through and it was, at that point, it had been months and we had been on this rollercoaster and I. Fired our realtors because I was like, there's something missing here. And I found a new realtor and she took one walk through our house. It was like within 15 minutes, and she gave me a list of things that needed to be changed to sell the house.
And it was like a breath of fresh air. It was so refreshing. She was like, yes, you have a beautiful house. Yes, it's priced right, but. When somebody's coming through here, is it the best house? No. And here's the things that you can do to make changes. And they were like these little things that I could do.
Overnight, it was like scrubbing the vents, like the heater vents clean, like sparkling clean. And she was like, I had to steam clean the shower in the bathroom, and it was like all of these little things, but they were adding up so that when a potential buyer walked through the house, they were just making these little subconscious notes of like, oh, this isn't a brand new build.
Right. Um, and she even suggested buying a new stove, which we did because in the grand scheme of things, buying a new stove to selling a whole house was like a drop in the bucket. It was no big deal. And so. Once we hired her, we made those quick changes. We sold that house in a month with her. We had three offers and we got to pick the best one.
And it was amazing. And it was just by having somebody's fresh perspective and a new look on the problem. That gave us like the wind beneath our sails, right? It was like what we needed, and having a fertility doula on your fertility journey is like that. You get a fresh perspective on what you've been going through, somebody that has a bunch of knowledge and is trained and can provide guidance for you.β
And it is really important to know that fertility doulas see you for you. They see your journey for your journey. No journey is the same. No person is the same. It's very unique and fertility doulas are trained especially to hold and guide you through that. The ultimate goal
I believe a fertility doula is to hold you during a time when you feel like you are falling apart. During infertility, I felt so unlike myself. I felt like I had no control over the situation that I was trying and doing everything right, but there was something wrong with me. That maybe motherhood really wasn't for me, that maybe my fate was something different, even though I felt so deeply in my heart that I wanted to be a mom, and I just felt this like crumbling happening of my identity of everything I knew to be true. And a fertility doula
hold you through that space mentally, emotionally, with time carved out specifically to navigate the journey. And it allows you the space to do that navigating in a safe container with a trusted professional. So that you can go through the experience, but you don't actually fall apart because when you do feel like that crumble is happening, you have someone there to hold you through it, and I really believe that stepping into parenthood, whether it's motherhood or fatherhood, whatever it is for you, that taking that leap is oftentimes the first time in your life where you're required to ask for support.
And this looks like multilayered, right? So one, you ask for support in doing this in a partnership, right? No, no, no. Don't go there. Delete that part. Because parenthood was never designed to be done in a silo alone, right. We are communal creatures. We thrive, especially women. We thrive in community, and so having a fertility doula, a support person through this time that is challenging for so many reasons, is kind of that, is that first step of getting support for yourself.β
And now that we're clear on what a fertility doula is, let's talk about what a fertility doula is not and what the scope of practice does not allow our fertility doula to do. A fertility doula cannot diagnose. We are not medical professionals. We cannot diagnose. That means we can't give medical advice, we can't prescribe, uh, medication or anything like that.
We also can't promise you an outcome. I cannot guarantee that you will fill in the blank, right? And if you're working with someone, or you see someone online who is promising you that, then that's a red flag. Everybody's journey is unique and the outcome of fertility is unknown. There's a real beauty in that.
And when we work together, we really explore that beauty in a way. Um, but I can't guarantee as your fertility doula, I can't promise you outcomes. Right. There's a lot of nuances to that, which we can get into. But, um, I also cannot replace your doctor and I don't want to., right. Like there are spaces that I've seen, especially online, that are like "doctors are evil", "don't ever trust them".
They are the reason that the world is falling apart. Right? They make doctors the villain. I and most fertility doulas are in the boat of, we compliment each other. So your doctor has a really special role. They support your body. They have access to tools that I don't have access to as your fertility doula.
Right. And. We want to use their data. We wanna know the data about your body. We wanna test some stuff, right? Like we want to use those tools. And your doctor plays a very specific role. A fertility doula compliments that. A fertility doula is somebody who's holding your, like your heart and your mind, and really your soul through this process in a way that a doctor can't, right?
So we compliment them. And we protect your emotional safety, that whole like holding space part of it. And fertility doulas also advocate for an informed, empowered client experience. If you are experiencing infertility or if you have experienced infertility in the past and maybe now you're interested in supporting others, then you know
that a lot of decision making has to come into play very quickly on a fertility journey, and a fertility doula is somebody who's there to advocate that you have informed, empowered decisions, right? Your fertility doula is somebody who's trained to help support you through that with a lot of great information.
And the beauty is you don't need to have all the answers. When you have someone holding the space for you, the answers actually become a lot more clear rather than confused. So if you are experiencing confusion on your fertility journey, then having a fertility doula helps clarify that for you. And it is no secret that we need fertility doulas now more than ever.
We have, of course, rising in fertility rates worldwide. We have overburdened medical systems that are crumbling before us. We have people who are craving a holistic human-centered care model because we haven't had that for so long. And then the other element to this is the fertility journey itself is an emotional one.
and there's lots of reasons for that, but infertility brings up a very deep human experience and yet the tools we have to support people through that are very sterile, right? Like they are very clinical and sterile. And we cut out the human experience from infertility. And what that does is it really denies
the, the messy middle of this. All right? And like it can actually make it so much harder. And we have data to support this. We have data that shows when patients feel supported, their outcomes are better. When patients using IVF feel supported, they have successful IVF, right? So, we have the data to support this, but yet our systems, which we know systems take a while to be fixed.
Um, but a fertility doula is such a beautiful fix for all of this. We live in an AI age. We have access to all the information we need. You can chat GPT your way through your infertility journey as long as you want. But what the information age does not have is the human connection, and we are human beings who thrive on connection and having a fertility doula is that missing link.β
And this makes me think of a beautiful client that I ended 2025 supporting who had tried multiple rounds of IUI. Her and her partner weren't getting pregnant, and she just had this gut feeling that maybe they needed some more support. So she tried IUI, it didn't work. She tried it again, it didn't work.
She tried it a third time, it didn't work. And it was starting to interfere with things in her life. It was starting to interfere with her work because she was having to leave for so many appointments and people were getting curious and asking questions. It was starting to interfere with her personal life because her closest friends were getting pregnant or having babies, and it was becoming a burden, and the doubt started to really make residents in her heart.
And when we started working together, she said, Jess, I don't know what I need, but what I'm doing isn't working. And so I became Her Fertility doula and she continued to use IUI with her doctor. She with her doctor edit that, but. But the difference this time is that she had a container through our sessions together to navigate the journey.
So she wasn't just spinning her wheels, pushing forward, like doing all the things again, again, again. And instead she had our container where we would meet and she would express and like let out all of that emotion that she had been holding in and we could talk about things and she, she would share, you know, Hey, my doctor said this.
What do you think? Or like, my doctor said this, I don't understand, or I don't know what to do. And we would talk through all of that and I gave her lots of tools to use to help support her in making those decisions in a really clear way. And she came out the other side feeling really so much more grounded and in her own power.
And so the fourth round of IUI, it didn't work. There was a lot of trouble with that cycle of IUI. The timing was off. If you've done IUI and like the timing has to align so perfectly and sometimes it doesn't and that's fine because the clinic is closed on the weekend or you are on vacation or whatever. So that one didn't work.
And then the fifth round, it was right before the holidays and she was kind of dreading that, like going to the holidays with this unknown. And she was, had those moments of doubt and those that, that little voice that said it hasn't worked, it won't work. And through having my support, I loaded her with tools to use, um, between our sessions.
And she had, she had me, she could text me at any time. She could call me at any time, and we worked through it. And then I got a text on Thanksgiving that said she's pregnant. And it is, was the best holiday season for her because she felt supported and the outcome was exactly what she wanted. But most importantly, she said to me, Jess, it didn't matter if I got pregnant this round or not.
βI finally, for the first time, felt like I was in control again on my fertility journey. And to me, that is the ultimate win when you can be in your power regardless of what's happening around you. And as a fertility doula, that is my goal, to support you in a way that you feel grounded and sturdy on your journey.
And so if, if any of this sounds,
and so. And so if, and so if you want more information about how to become a fertility doula, I am leaning a series of workshops in January and February of 2026 to learn to dive deeper in with you around what a fertility doula is, how to get certified, because certification is super important for doulas and I would love for you to join me on a webinar.
You can ask lots of questions, we can dive into things together. So, um, the link is herfertility.support/webinar. It will be in the show notes. I would love to see you on one. I'm holding a bunch of them, so please join me. And if you, and if you are interested in how. And if you would like the support of a fertility doula, we have a full directory of fertility doulas on the Her Fertility website.
So that link is herfertility.support/directory, and you can find a fertility doula that can support you on your fertility journey now.β
And this is just the beginning of the Her Fertility Podcast for 2026. I am super jazzed for the episodes coming your way this year. I am. I am fully focused on supporting you on your fertility journey. So if you or someone you know could be supported during their fertility journey, please share this podcast with them and I will see, and I look forward.
And connect with me on TikTok @herfertility.support.
βThank you so much for listening to this episode of the Her Fertility Podcast in a sea of big name podcasts. Your support means the world to me. If you enjoyed the show, I would so appreciate your support by leaving a review on Apple Podcast, Spotify, or YouTube, wherever you listen to help me reach as many women as possible.
You can also share this episode with a friend. Sharing the podcast is the best way to help it grow and build a community to support you on your fertility journey. If we aren't already connected, please find me @herfertility.support on social media or sign up for one of my next fertility courses or offerings at www.herfertility.support.
